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I’ve now been in Dublin for about 25 days, enough time for me to adapt to most of the intricacies of Irish culture. Close encounters with oncoming cars are becoming more infrequent by the day as I’ve learned to look the right way when crossing the street. Also, I haven’t gotten lost in a while, which means I haven’t had to ask any random pedestrians for directions–always awkward because it takes a little while for them to make sure you’re not mugging them or asking for change.

So things are going well on the assimilation front. But Sunday afternoon, a few hours before the Super Bowl, I began to think about the things I miss about my homeland. It’s the little things that I miss most–things that are so simple back home, yet so inexplicably inefficient here.

I’m going to use WordPress’s fancy bullet function to organize my thoughts into a tidy list. The things I miss most come first.

• In America, when two people are walking directly towards each other on the street, the solution is simple: both people simply slide-step to their right. Here, it’s not that easy. When these situations arise in Ireland, you and your newfound partner enter into an involuntary dos-e-doe until you either walk into each other or somehow find a way to get by each other. People don’t know whether to go left or right. They drive on the left, but apparently that rule doesn’t translate to walking and people take it on a case by case basis. You would think this problem would be easily solved by a nationwide announcement telling people to walk on the left (or right), but that would be too easy.
• I miss reliable hot water. Ireland is thriving–most people in my neighborhood seem to drive new German cars–but most flats still have small individual water heaters that can be most pleasantly described as fickle.
• I miss sinks with one adjustable faucet, instead of two separate faucets for hot and cold. Here, you’re stuck moving your hands back and forth between the hot and cold in an effort to strike a balance for long enough to wipe off the soap. Some sinks have regular adjustable ones, but most don’t. You’d think they could at least have the two streams meet in the middle so you could make your own warm water but, nope, you get to play hot-warm-cold-warm-hot-warm-cold until your hands are soap-free.
• I miss freshly made sandwiches. I actually went to Subway yesterday and could not have enjoyed it more. The vast majority of places here have pre-made sandwiches lined up in refrigerators so that people can just grab them, pay and go. Considering that I eat almost everything, that wouldn’t usually be a problem except for the fact that Irish people like gross food. They put mayonnaise on everything (everything) and I’m not always in the mood for mayo. I like standing in front of a line of food and telling the sandwich maker (or in Subway’s case, Sandwich Artist) what to put on it and how much of it I want. That means less mayo, please.
• This fits in the same category, but deserves its own bullet: I really miss the gastronomic heaven that is La Prima. That place is so good it’s ridiculous. Seriously, if you’re reading this and go to ABP on a regular basis, go to La Prima next time (it’s right next door) and get a sandwich. Then please send me one.
• I miss enjoying pub food. Before I came here, I was so excited to have authentic fish and chips. It was cool at first, but now I see it for what it really is: bland and probably unsanitary. I really miss big salads from the Cheesecake Factory and burritos from Chipotle. Last weekend, we finally found a burrito place, but it was described on a website as “For a fast food Mexican, in Dublin, it’s pretty good.” That’s like saying, “For homemade Martian food in D.C., it’s pretty good.”
• I miss iced tea and iced coffee. They don’t really do them here. This item will skyrocket up the list as the weather gets warmer.

BONUS: Today I was walking down Baggot street when a blond with a microphone and a cameraman accosted me. Here is what transpired:

“Excuse me, sir, we’re doing a news bit on what people are giving up for Lent. Would you mind sharing what you gave up?”

“Um, I’m Jewish, so I’m not really doing Lent.”

“Well, have you in the past?”

“No, I’m not Catholic, I’m not even Christian–I’m Jewish, so I don’t do Lent.” (I wasn’t angry or rude, more just incredulous.)

*confused* “Well, I guess I picked the wrong man to ask! Thanks, anyway!”

Back Monday with more. Sorry this was so long. Actually, I don’t really care, isn’t that the point of a blog anyway?