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Living in South America, I’ve already had a fair share of strange experiences. For instance, the other day I almost hit a horse that darted across the dirt road while riding to school on my moped, I regularly see five-year-olds wielding machetes and the crazy but lovable gardener at my house has been known to shoot stray cats at night for kicks. But I would not have guessed that the U.S. Embassy would be the setting for by far the strangest experience of this trip to date.

Since the school I’m teaching at is well-known within Paraguay, the U.S. ambassador extended us an invitation to his annual Independence Day bash at his residence in Asunción - Paraguay’s capital city. For some background, the ambassador is somewhat of a colorful character. During his post, he discovered that his true calling was recording Paraguayan folk songs in Guarani (I believe his side of the story was that the idea came to him in a dream), so he recorded and released a C.D. and now entertains fans with concerts when not busy with diplomatic policy. Keep in mind that he is not Paraguayan - he’s from New Jersey.

This party was not your traditional backyard, Fourth of July barbecue. For one thing, it was on July 1- and it was Mardi Gras-themed. After making the hour and a half trip to Asunción, walking into the ambassador’s residence felt like walking into the Twilight Zone. Outside the gates, little children were barefoot in the streets begging for change, but inside, a live jazz band was blaring Frank Sinatra songs, oversized Mardi Gras masks read “I love USA” painted on in glitter, waiters walked around offering chicken wings and empanadas, and Americans and Paraguayans alike were decked out in elaborate costumes ranging from Superman to a giant pumpkin. The Ambassador himself was unrecognizable in his full-on Benjamin Franklin outfit complete with a kite, tearing up the dance floor to a Grammy-winning Cajun band imported direct from New Orleans.

To make things even stranger, the party seemed to have sold it’s soul to American corporations. Signs and tents from sponsors ranging from McDonald’s to Dodge were among the patriotic decor. Pizza Hut was even on hand to give out personal pizzas and Budweiser girls in tight, red jumpsuits handed out key chains and bottles of beer. Apparently U.S. tax dollars weren’t enough to cover the ambassador’s bill. The rest of the party’s cuisine ranged from Cajun to Chinese, and a giant American flag made out of cupcakes to top it all off.

The ambassador took the stage and made a speech in Spanish and then lip-synced to one of his Paraguayan hits. Then he read a statement issued by the White House, wishing Americans all over the world a happy Independence Day. As clich and recycled as the statement was, hearing it in my little American enclave in Paraguay, complete with corporate sponsors, eccentric guests and a melting pot of themed party-ware, actually made me a little homesick. Although it was far from a traditional Fourth of July celebration, the party pretty accurately summed up what the U.S. is all about.

Just for some background, Paraguay has two official languages. One is Spanish and the other is Guarani - an indigenous language that most people learn to speak even before Spanish. But generally Paraguayans switch back and forth in conversation from Spanish to Guarani, so both are pretty equally used. It can get a little confusing for us Americans who don’t know any Guarani. Case in point, the previous English teacher before me once told her class that she had three tattoos, not knowing that the word “tattoo” in Guarani means “vagina”. The high school boys still won’t look her in the eyes.

Although it is only spoken by roughly four million people, and nowhere outside of Paraguay and around its borders, the government insists that it be taught in all Paraguayan schools. This includes the Macchi Institute that I am teaching at. Even though it was built, funded and run privately by Americans, it still has to comply with the Ministry of Education’s mandates. For the American administrators of the school, adding a Guarani class to the already packed schedule (Paraguayan students take about 20 different classes a year) seems unnecessary. Their argument is that the students are already taught Guarani in their homes and it isn’t spoken anywhere else so unlike learning English, it doesn’t exactly open any doors. Guarani is also not a written language so transforming it into one for teaching purposes seems unnatural. But the counterargument is that Guarani is an integral part of Paraguayan heritage and culture and not teaching it in schools may lead to it dying out. Either way, it is an interesting debate and one that may be having a greater effect on the Paraguayan education system as a whole, since right now it is ranked among the worst in the world.

This summer I’ll be taking off from most of my duties as metro news editor to teach English at a small school in rural Tobati, Paraguay. It’s not exactly a typical way to spend a summer vaction - especially since it’s not summer down here in the Southern Hemisphere. Lucky for me, temperatures have been abnormally low and in a country that doesn’t usually have much need for central heating - much less afford it. Keeping warm has been a challenge.

The students at the school I teach at, the Instituto Cultural Reinaldo Macchi, are cute enough to make me forget about the cold for a couple hours a day. These students come from some of the poorest families in the area and were hand-selected to attend this school, which is the most prestigious with some of the nicest facilities in the country since it was built and run by Americans. Unlike most schools that have classes for only three or four hours a day, the school day at Macchi runs from 6:45 a.m. to about 4:30 p.m. Quite a full day. The Macchi school also strives to be above the pressures of the public academic system, especially teacher strikes that frequently shut down public schools for weeks at a time. The school also continues to import directors from the U.S. to keep it from falling into the corruption that Paraguay and much of South America is infamous for. Currently the school has 60 students, 15 in each grade from 7th to 10th.

The students’ previous English teacher had them all create e-mail accounts and write to me before I got down here. The messages I got were so adorable that it’s necessary to attach one of them on here so you can see how these 13 and 14 year olds explain themselves with the little English they have.

alexa
hello!!! how are you?I am Romina, I am from Tobati-Paraguay.I am from Institute in Tobati.I am in 8th.
I would like to meet you.I like english class, I like to learn much.I want to speek English and I want to learn vocabulary and verbs
I hope you do well.
I hope we understand eachother
I am very smart, and funny, talkative, tall,
Your future student:
ROMINA

I have no real teaching experience but hopefully I’ll be able to live up to these kids’ expectations. Either way it will be an interesting summer.